Dear ex best friend,
Why do I love you too deep?
Why do I care so much about you even until now?
Why can't I just forget you?
but..
why can't we be like how we used to be...
Because we were both scarred and scared. We left each other. We decided one day we are going to be only in the memories of each other. In the past. Not in the present nor the future. We decided that.
I still cry when thinking about you.
And you sometimes still coming back in my dream.
I wish the day I met you was the day I walked far far away from you. I wish I never get to be close to you and hurt you and felt hurt by the thing you did which weren't meant to hurt me. I wonder why our story was written this way. Why it is possible to end a friendship?
I have suffered from heartache. I didnt blame you. It was all written.
This is one of the most painful thing that has happened in my life. I freaking hurt so bad and I hated it. I know I am going to come out stronger. I know I will.
But I am not sure if I really wanted this feeling to go away. It is the only thing that reminds me I can love someone so deeply, care for someone so much and it reminds me I still have that little bit of humanity left in my gut. I only hated the pain its causing me.
I guess I just have to deal with it.
Dear aching heart, you will heal.
Inn sha Allah
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