Ramadan Reflection | One week into Ramadhan 1446H

It's been 8 days since we started fasting in Ramadhan. Each Ramadan that I have been will have a unique theme. I thought this Ramadhan would be the same as the rest of the year since I didn't prepare much. But ma sha Allah, who would've thought this Ramadhan I am working on FORGIVENESS.

Right before Ramadhan started, I was listening to Sh Hamza Yusuf lecture on Purification of the Heart. One thing that struck me the most was the topic on FORGIVENESS.

He went on to share the story of one of the Sahabahs. As Rasulullah saw. was sitting among his companions, He mentioned "A man of paradise is coming". To which one of them, Abdullah bin Amr ul Aas felt very compelled to know about this person more. To his surprise, the man of paradise did not do any additional prayers at night nor was he fasting voluntarily.

Abdullah bin Amr ul Aas later learned from the sahabah that before he went to sleep, he made sure that he FORGIVES every Muslim and made sure there was no hatred or jealousy in his heart.

I reflected on this deeply. And I acknowledge that deep in my heart, I still hold some resentment and anger towards some people.

Inspired by the story of this Sahabah, I decided to work on FROGIVENESS.

I mean, it's a win-win for me. Forgiving others will definitely bring so much peace in my heart in this world, and on top of that, you'll earn the blessings of Allah.

Only, it is not as easy as it seems. Yes, I might declare verbally or in my heart that "I forgive so and so". But later on when things happened or when I was reminded of some injustice I had faced, my heart filled with anger again. To which I then need to comfort my heart and say " I forgive so and so".

The plan is for now to renew forgiveness whenever I feel some anger or resentment creeping in again, even the tiniest bit. Hopefully, one day, my heart will be ikhlas. And there's nothing wrong with practicing an "outside-in" approach whilst waiting for real sincerity to take place in my heart. It's always a work in progress.

Also, what I am thinking I can start doing is to list down all the goodness that came from these people. Sometimes, they are a source of great blessings in our lives directly. But due to our hurt, he failed to notice the gift that they are. The blessings that they bring upon our life. For others, some of them might not directly bring any value to our lives, but they taught us lessons that we will never learn otherwise.

Now, I get that it takes a lot for someone to completely cleanse his/her heart from any hatred, anger, resentment and jealousy from others. You will need to look beyond your own hurt. Have trust in Allah that He will never look past your effort to strive for His pleasure. Even when no one knows, Allah is always there to acknowledge how hard you're trying to be a better person each day.

May Allah make it easy for us to navigate the trials and tribulations of this life.

I am always guided and protected.

Ameen.